Again my friend Hayley has brought some incredible insight to the discussion, and I had a small revelation in my car on the way home yesterday. So I wanted to share it here.

1. Hayley made an outstanding point when she said “…if you don’t share with people that they are important to you, they will assume that they are not.” Whoa! I was blind to this Catch-22 until I read this statement. The whole reason that seasonal friends become seasonal is probably because you never affirmed them as being special to you in the first place!
2. Luke 6:31 is the Biblical foundation of what has been donned the “Golden Rule” of American society: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” [read this in context] Whoa again!
3. So you see? What happens is that a person who gets stuck with 5-6 groups of seasonal friends often becomes a seasonal friend his/herself. When they get stuck in “the cycle” that I discussed in my previous entry, it’s time to view the situation objectively, and ensure that that their own behavior is saying “hey, I really value our friendship” if that is the sentiment they wish to receive, as well.

I would say be careful not to lay it on to thick, though (foreshadowing an upcoming blog entry).

Don’t limit yourself to being a party-planner: make sure that your friends (the ones you want to keep for life) know how much they mean to you. Encourage them and let them know that they are special to you, and it shouldn’t be long before the sentiment is returned.

Gee, who knew that scripture could be so simple, yet so profound? Pretty neat stuff. Maybe you didn’t realize that the Golden Rule is biblically-founded. Now you know.

This is all I’m going to say about seasonal friends for awhile.

Props to Hayley for reminding me that I need to follow up my previous post: Small Group Community

If someone called you a “seasonal friend,” would you be offended? What would that mean to you?

I have approximately 800 or so seasonal friends. You’re probably one of them. But before you get all excited and defensive, answer these questions to yourself:

• When was the last time we hung out 1-on-1 or in a small group of 3-6 people with no purpose aside from just hanging out?
• Do you have my cell number stored in your phone? Do I have yours? Scroll through your call logs and find the last time we spoke.
• When was the last time you even saw me? Did we speak? For how long?
• The last time that we did speak, did the conversation end on something like “let’s get together” or “just call me”?

Seasonal friend: A close acquaintance with whom an individual only engages during large group events or formally organized activities.

e.g. Redcoat Band friends, Wesley Foundation friends, BCM friends, intramural teammates, Athens Church small group, Chick-fil-A co-workers, OYP kids.

I am involved in a lot of stuff, and because of it I have developed relationships with a crazy number of people. But outside of our mutual extracurriculars, I don’t really hang out with anyone. There is not one person with whom I regularly go out for drinks or games or social activities of any kind. For Redcoats, it’s football season; for BCM, it’s dinner theatre season; for Athens Church, it’s Sundays; for Wesley, it’s Wednesdays, but outside of these “seasons,” I rarely ever see these people.

By now you should be understanding where I’m coming from when I refer to “seasonal friends,” and realize that isn’t at all a bad thing. It’s just an unfortunate circumstance that accompanies certain lifestyles blending with specific personalities. Maybe you experience something similar. Don’t blame yourself or your possé, for there is no conscious behavior that can lead to this social phenomenon.

Referencing my previous post entitled Small Group Community, some people become “social drifters.” They constantly meet tons of new people through various activities, clubs, and events, to the point that they become trapped; they end up with hordes of friends, but never slow down enough to develop meaningful relationships. Even my small group, though I love all the guys and feel very close to each one, fails the test of spending time together outside of our allotted weekly meeting.

So while I am grateful to be blessed with so many friends, it would be even greater to actually have plans on the weekend and lunch dates during the week. Strengthening one another and developing relationships that are deeper and more intimate. Encouraging, advising, being encouraged and being advised. Sitting down and discussing all things instead of simply greeting and departing.

I love the seasons. They just don’t last long enough.

Upcoming Topic: How Friends Become Seasonal