Alright, I’m going to finally step out of the closet on this subject… I AM AN ONLINE DATER.

Some of you might be shocked. Those of you that know me best, won’t be. You know that underneath my outgoing, self-confident, socialite exterior is a rather insecure hopeless romantic with a history of heartbreak. So there, the confession is finished and we can move on.

Was I the only person raised to believe that it’s rude to ignore someone that is speaking directly to you? Stranger danger would be the exception but since having a profile on a dating website implies an intention to connect with new people, I think we can rule out stranger danger for just a minute.

So what’s the deal with the women on these dating websites? They all seem legit in a variety of ways, and their profiles state how eager they are to meet some new people. Numerous biographies end with the exclamation “If you have any questions, just ask!” “Match compatibility: 100%” the matchmaking algorithm touts. That’s a fair excuse to at least try a conversation, right? So a guy puts some serious thought into the initial icebreaker message. He keeps it short, witty, and genuine. That’s what the girls want, according to their profile’s About Me section which also explicitly deters all gangsters, players, thugs, or guys with pictures of their semi-nude bodies. Check, check, check, check. So why does only 1 girl in 10 respond?

One can assume that girls on these sites get bombarded with messages and they probably get tired of the same old crap day after day, especially since most dudes are creepers that ignored the disclaimer. But why not send a simple “thanks but I’m not feeling it” response to the icebreakers that come from seemingly legitimate guys?

I am delighted to report that I have recently been turned down in real life by a couple of very lovely and well-intentioned ladies. You’re thinking “wow, what an unexpected and awkward thing to say, Daniel.” I’m going to ignore your judgment and continue. My point is that it’s nice to know where you stand instead of getting the runaround. If those girls are reading this, you know who you are and on behalf of the global male population, thank you for your direct and honest approach to DTR.

Real-life dating is supposed to be harder than online dating. That’s why online dating exists. So how is a guy supposed to stand out in a sea of bad eggs? The entire system seems to be flawed on a very basic level of interaction.

Okay, well now that I have dedicated an hour to writing a blog entry about the shortcomings of online dating, I really feel like a bum. Leave a comment. Or not. It might help prove my point if there are none, haha.