Yes M’am

Posted on January 19, 2011 by danfo

I’ve heard it said over and over again when you ask long-lasting couples (30+ years of marriage) “what’s your secret?” The man always laughs and says something to the effect of “I know how to say ‘yes dear’.”

As humorous as this always is, and as light-heartedly as it is always spoken, you have to admit that there is truth to it. Let’s face it ladies, you’re really tough to understand and darn near impossible to sway. I’m not even married, but I am figuring out more each day that if I just keep my trap shut when I KNOW that I’m right about a disagreement, y’all are so much easier to get along with! I don’t have to agree with you, but if I will just NOT state my opinion in a matter, your temper will be far more tolerable 98% of the time.

Little Things

Posted on August 20, 2010 by danfo

I don’t know how people perceive me. It’s an unfortunate side effect of human nature that we’re not completely up front with people when they’re acting strangely (to us), unless we’re already very good friends with them and share that kind of open criticism regularly. I love observing others’ behavior and gauging the reactions of the people around them to mean one thing or another, but since I cannot view my own actions in the third person, I can’t get a very clear read on the reactions around me.

I’m rambling, so let’s get to the point. I am wondering if my friends (the females, mostly) observe my enthusiasm over little things and wrongly characterize my commitments.

For instance, one of my darling [female] friends just visited me at my office after declaring via IM that she was too busy to do so today. Naturally, I was delighted to see her! Though it was a very simple gesture, to me it meant a lot that she would come by without warning even though she knew I wouldn’t be expecting her. She was totally off the hook of obligation, but she came anyway.

This got me thinking: When I get excited over such simple gestures, do the folks around me interpret my reaction in a way that matches my mentality? If a person does something for me/to me that I appreciate outwardly, but to them it requires hardly any effort or focus, do they think I’m “coming on too strong”? Does a girl I’m interested in think “whoa, this guy is way too attached” even when I’m in full control of my wits?

Sometimes these thought-provoking ideas are much harder to type explicitly than they are to describe to myself in my head. So I’m sorry if this seems like nothing more than sporadic babble. At least it makes sense to me!

Living Alone Is A Lonely Business

Posted on July 11, 2010 by danfo

Recently I calculated some math: 90% of my time (aside from work) is spent alone. 90% of THAT time, I’m thinking about how much I hate being alone and wondering why my phone never rings.

Yesterday I paced around my living room for nearly an hour rehearsing an emotional monologue that I imagined giving to all my friends, related to the above stats. It wasn’t pretty.

My emo rant for the week: I’m weary from extending invitations to “friends.” In the past 3 weeks, I’ve spent time with only one person in Athens for only one hour. Check my phone logs, TXT messages, and Facebook posts, and you’ll find that this does not stem from a lack of effort on my part.

Let’s face it – a majority of my cynicism results from having too much time on my hands to think about the psychology behind the circumstances. The remedy to too much time on one’s hands is to get out and do stuff. Better than advice on things to get out and do, I wish that my “friends” would actually extend an invitation or two to balance the number of invites I’ve extended over the past two years.

Case in point: On Saturday (that’s the weekend, mind you – most folks are out getting plastered and having drunken sex, or at the very least spending time with the people they care about) I managed to go through the entire day without speaking to a single person. Is that pure dumb luck on my part or a bucket full of fail on yours?

Case Study: How to Cheat Inevitable Death

Posted on June 25, 2010 by danfo

Tonight I was reminded that the only inevitability in life is death. In youth, we don’t think about death because it seems infinitely distant. We convince ourselves that it is a myth, that like every other decision we make, we can continue having life if we choose to. All we have to do is keep living as we always have. For every game over, there is always a reset button.

But tonight, eternal life escaped me. I remembered how, of the billions of people that have been born on this earth, ever since time began and before history was written down, none has survived. Death is inescapable.

[this blog entry was not recovered in full after the Fowlertown blog crash of 2011]

Sorry

Posted on April 21, 2010 by danfo

I’m sorry you’ve been mistreated in the past. I’m sorry that your daily caution isn’t equipped with x-ray vision; that you’ve become so cynical about romance that now you can’t spot even the few good apples in the barrel. I’m sorry that you think of me as a dull, conservative, predictable, judgmental, goody two-shoes computer nerd. I’m sorry that your usual acts of friendly conversation from a safe distance don’t work on me; that I’m not satisfied by text messages and water cooler conversations. I’m sorry that even now, your interpretation of the things I say is skewed by years of ill-intentioned advances from men you can’t trust, and by your predisposition against the kind of religious cabbage head you perceive me to be. To believe that you will ever be able to unconditionally love someone AND have peace of mind that they will never hurt you – I’m sorry that you’ve resolved to never being able to have those 2 coexist.

Is This What Suicidal Feel Like?

Posted on April 8, 2010 by danfo

I have a terrific life. There is no denying that fact. But man, sometimes I feel completely alone. Not only do I, time after time, throw away my heart on the pursuit of a woman that just doesn’t give a rip in return, but the friends that I consider to be dearest in my life have suddenly begun disappearing.